Did I ever share my word for 2019? It doesn’t seem as though I did. 2018 was hard. My word back then was Wonder. I found myself full of wonder but in none of the ways I imagined. Mostly just WONDERing what to do. WONDERing how I got to a place I didn’t intend to get to. To be frank, WONDERing that the hell I was doing.
I was glad when 2018 was over. Its a story for another post. A story that will take courage to tell and one that must be told when littles (can I still call Clever, Dapper and Spicy littles when they are 10, 9 and breathing down 8’s neck??) are not underfoot with excitement for Christmas… Its hard because as every writer knows, our stories are not our own. They are intertwined and weaved with other’s lives and truths. Our version is but one facet… Still, as writers also know, stories within us must come forth or they overcrowd and corrupt our minds leaving no room for new stories and beginnings. So I will write my story and you will hear my story in due time.
As it is, 2019 came. I anticipated it and welcomed a fresh new year. Not to lose weight (tho I need to), not to quit smoking (did that almost 11 years ago- thank you very much)- no real resolutions were happening here. I was just grateful to see a new year, pick a new word and begin again.
My word for 2019 was (and for the next 20 days still is) STRONG.
It was deceptive at first, I admit. Its a bold word and claiming it as my word of the year was daring. Especially given the fact I didn’t feel it. I wasn’t sure I believed it. Okay, I know I didn’t believe it. But I made it my word and I thought about it every single day thus far in 2019. I make decisions that will make me a strong person. I work to make my marriage strong. I strive to be a strong role model for my littles . I have strong friendships and learned to appreciate them and nurture them. I was strong in the realization that other friendships weren’t. This is okay, it makes the strong outshine. I see them clearly. I feel that this year – and last- let me see everyone clearly. I still STRONGly wish everyone well.
I am spending the next several weeks thinking and praying for my next word. Praying that Jesus just lets it come to me and gives me the purpose to slay all things with my word!
2020, I’m coming for you and I am so happy to keep on keeping on!
I did a thing this week. I made a vision board to show what it is I wanted my life to look like. I actually used a notebook that I always have with me so I could keep looking at it as often as I wanted.
I had heard of people making these before. Targets and motivations to strive for and that emphasize the power of the mind. The photo above was one of the photos I chose. I won’t share the rest here…yet. Maybe never. I am not sure.
What I do know is how happy I am to have used this photo and then realized that I am living this part of my vision board out loud; in present time. So many times I hear people tell me they wish they wrote, or they want to write, or they do write but they won’t put it out anywhere in the world. I am proud that I do. I am proud that in this vision, my writing is not just a vision. Its not just a wish. Its not a someday if I weren’t so busy. I am a mother of 4 (3 of whom are completely dependent), I work part time at my children’s school, I work at my husband’s business, I have 2 children in travel sports that we have 5 days a week and 2 times each day of the weekend. Our little Spicy is a swimmer so that is sucking up time. I also run a part time online business plus I run a household….Can I get an Amen to that? Bills, laundry, dinners, all lunches packed, groceries, cleaning, etc. I get busy. Believe me! Yet, I still find time to be what I believe God calls me to be. A writer. Who actually writes.
I encourage all of you to create your own vision board. A tangible one is best. One you can craft and hold and see each day. BUT, if you are even too busy for that, make one on Pinterest. Start making a plan today for what you say you want. Have your vision become reality. It is empowering. And don’t we all just want to feel a little stronger in our own skin?
I am still here. I write this as a reminder to myself even more than a notification to my readers.
I have been writing so much these last few months, just not blogging. I have missed this.
I find myself thinking of this blog often. I think,
“What do I want to write?”
“What is there to say?”
“Do people really want to hear a housewife’s take on kids and married life?”
“Do I really want to talk about kids and married life?”
“Should I just post works here? Try to get feedback?”
Lots of questions. And with full disclosure, I didn’t come to any definitive conclusions.
With the exception of this: I want to write and I want to write here.
I want to write about whatever I want. This blog doesn’t need to fit under an umbrella that only touches on certain topics. It can be all encompassing. I have no control over who reads, who shares, who cares. But that isn’t why writing has ever mattered to me. Writing has been my lifeline since I was a child. When I was 7 and used writing to help me grapple through my father’s death and throughout my life going through every other hardship and joy. Writing is home.
So here it goes. Continuing the act of saving myself. Using my God-given talent to spend time with myself…and hopefully you all as well.
Who are we really? Do we even know? Do I?
This blog calls me a housewife. Is that all I am? Will I be that forever? When that changes, does the blog need to change its web address? If that changes, am I enough on my own to even stand alone as a web address?
I write. It ebbs and flows but is that all that is required to make me a writer? Is it enough? Does it still count? Can I call myself a writer when sometimes weeks pass without writing a word?
How much of our identity is what OTHER people tell us we are? Do we really know ourselves? Isn’t it time to get acquainted?
I’m in a wondering mood….
I suspect most of the wonders I seek this year will be hidden. Will be things that I need to take a second or third look to see and find. That is part of their wonder, true?
Today, I found wonder in an obvious place. Some would say easy even. I don’t care. My goal is to delight in wonder all year long, where ever I should find it. Even when I don’t have to look far at all.
Look at her. My eldest child, Studious. She is my wondrous find today. I often marvel at how she has grown. How she has navigated this life to find her own place in which to stand and grow. She has faced adversities and she always and repeatedly rises. I am so proud and so in absolute wonder that I had anything to do with this.
In this photo, we were on a recent trip to NYC – just the two of us. It was such an amazing gift from my husband. It was perfect for too many reasons to list here. In this picture, she is standing on the top of the Empire State Building (which needs to Go Gold for Pediatric Cancer- seriously, their refusal infuriates me BUT that is for another time). She is standing overlooking NYC and I am in awe of her. The old adage of ‘The world is her oyster’ is so true and she is so lucky. And what makes her so full of wonder? She knows this. She knows that she is a participant in this world and she was not just put here to pay bills and die. She has goals and aspirations and she will leave a positive impact on this place. She is so wonderful or rather WonderFULL.
When I look for things or moments this year to encapsulate wonder for me, I will look broad and far. However, today, I recognize that when someone you have known their whole life, still takes your breath away- you call it what it is and you celebrate them.
I am so blessed to be on this journey. I am so blessed to be a mother. It is the greatest role in life. I will stop to see it and I will do my absolute best to recognize and delight in it.
Thank you to Studious for constantly showing me wonder. For 21+ years I have been in awe of you, your dedication and determination. I love you. XOXO
Photo just sent from reporter Michael Jordan that will appear in the local newspaper in Lakefield, MN from last week’s book tour! Still pinching myself that this is my life. Thanks to all who support me! I appreciate it and YOU!
Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, Dear BLOG, Happy Birthday to you!
Today is my blog’s very first birthday! I can’t believe it! This experience has been so amazing. April 13, 2015, I began this little blog called The Memoirs of a Housewife. Had you told me that in exactly one year I would be boarding a plane to go out West for a book tour for a book I wrote and I published, I would have thought you were being overly optimistic. Yet, here I am at 2:00 getting ready to head to the airport to do just that!
I am so thrilled I listened to my true core self about my desires and wants in this life instead of listening to my self-doubt and fears. We only have this one life. This isn’t a “practice life”. We don’t get any do-overs.
I feel so amazed that it has been a year! Many more to come as I continue to fall further in love with my husband and my Studious, Clever, Dapper and Spicy. Much more self-discovery and self-enhancement is coming your way. Life is happening here and it is a blessing. I am thankful for it all.
I am reminded of these smart words from Karen Lamb that I thought to myself one year ago today when I was nervous and hesitant to hit the “Publish” button on this blog for the first time. “A year from now you will wish you had started today.”
Well, I hit “Publish” and now a year later, I am so grateful to have no regrets or wasted time. Get on with your getting on, people. Life is happening here. It is a blessing for sure!
I’ll check in from the Wild West Book Tour! XOXO