I feel so vulnerable today!!

I think most of you are aware that I recently published a book called, No Cheese Please.  It is an adorable children’s book that I am extremely proud of.

I am proud of the content.  I am proud of the final copy.  I am proud of the audaciousness I had to muster to let it go out into the world.  And here we are….


It is almost here.  Or there- in the real world where you all are.  It is available on Amazon and the presale has been tremendously successful.  Thank you all you out there who have already bought a copy or two, or 5 or 7… you know who you are!

Why do I feel most vulnerable today?  Today I began the arduous tasks of actually stepping out of my creativity (a place I am SUPER comfortable in) and into the world of “selling/promoting”.  This is a place where I am not at ease.  Please don’t misunderstand me, I BELIEVE in this project and I am CONFIDENT in what I am sharing, it just is HARD, you guys, when you ask others to come along with you and sip some of your Kool Aid! And to buy into it, literally.

So today I created the invitation to my Book Launch Celebration where I am inviting my friends and family to come and help us celebrate this really cool thing.  I am so excited but I have to be honest, when I hit ‘Send Evite’, I had heart palpitations.  All these negative thoughts crept in my head.  Or rather, if I am going to be honest, they didn’t sneak in- I was the one saying them.

“What if no one comes but you, you husband and your kids?”

“What if people presume you have no talent and don’t want to buy anything you made?”

“You have some nerve making something and then thinking anyone would PAY for it!”

The list of self-doubt and self-hate questions kept going.  I was so nervous.  I am still.

And then I got to thinking… Do I want these books to sell?  Absolutely!  I think that will be amazing and exciting and I will be honored that anyone would invest their hard-earned money into something I created and released into this crazy world.  BUT, I am not doing it for that.  I didn’t make the decision to focus on my writing for the accolades.  I decided to do this for ME!   The positive reviews and the excellent reception thus far is the cherry on top for me.

Will some people out there have negative thoughts about me?  Or about my audacity to do this thing?  I sadly presume so.  I can’t change them.  I learned from experience that people make up their minds about you typically with or without any action or evidence from you.   And those people, aren’t people you want around anyway.

Getting back to this party- I am still nervous.  I am still wanting everything to be a huge success and I want everyone to leave feeling empowered to do whatever  it is they want to do.  But I am doing this thing.  And the feeling I get from THAT…from the actual DOING supersedes any negativity I can spew at myself.

Thank you for letting me share my vulnerability here.  This community has come to be place I feel safe and free.  Kudos to you all for that.



What a Wonderful World???


Do you ever read people’s Facebook posts, Instagram feeds, blog posts and tweets and wonder- where are these gloriously happy, got it all figured out, perfect in every way souls?  I mean these people are pretty amazing, right?  They not only have it all together, but their kids, their careers- hell even their DOGS are perfection.

Maybe you are not one who wonders where they are because you are one of them.  Lucky.  Funny thing is, I see these snapshots of these amazing lives online, hardly in reality.  When I am shopping, most time people look frustrated and a majority of the time, they look hurried and pissed off.  Drive on the road with these deliriously joyful souls and realize you are getting cut off, being sanctioned to the merge lane cause your ass isn’t getting in and on some super special occasion, you may even get the bird shot at you.  True story- it still happens.  It happened to me about a month ago.  Some guy driving a muscle car (for description purposes not an opinion on muscle car owners) was driving and my mother (white hair, obviously well-vetted) pulled out into the road.  He had plenty of space, but he had decided she should have waited.  He passed us and proceeded to look in the car which was occupied  by a white-haired grandmother, myself and my little 4 year old Spicy girl.  He accessed the situation (3 generations of women- one his elder, another a baby) and decided to give us the finger.  Classy.   I wonder if he posted that nugget of maturity on his social media sites.  Also makes me wonder who would have had to be in the car for him NOT to show the white trash card.

Yea, I am not sure where some of these happy, well-together people are located.

I had a friend not too long ago who was constantly blogging and facebook posting about her fabulous husband and their fabulous marriage.  Always posting pictures of this Norman Rockwell life and how fabulous everything was.  Mind you, this was one of my closest friends.   The other day she informs me she is getting a divorce.  She said they haven’t been happy for a super long time.  Really?  Could have fooled me!  You had rainbows and cupids coming out of your A$$ online.

Look, there is a point to this and I promise it will all come around so just stay with me….

We can all agree that no one leads perfect lives.  Social media seems to provide an outlet for each of us to communicate and that is a glorious thing.  Glorious when it is generative and helpful.  It could be so much more than what we have all made it.  Rather than it be an extension of ‘keeping up with the Jone’s’ and ‘Wow, who can be happier?’, what if it was real?

I am not condoning airing dirty laundry by any means.  While I am no longer a practicing Catholic, that much was ingrained to my core.  I am talking about being honest and allowing our real selves to shine through.  If you are struggling, it is okay to admit to struggling.  Someone may be reading who can identify, lend and ear, listen.  Someone may be able to help.  If you are happy, by all means, share that as well.  Need help with projects, prayers, good thoughts, bring it!

I had a man I admired a great deal tell me a story once of his church.  He was deeply involved in his church and its several committees, etc.  He told me one day why he up and left that church in search for another.  He said there was a man in his congregation that he knew had just lost his job.  He was aware this man and his family were suffering true and severe difficulties and hardships.  He went up to this gentleman at church one Sunday and asked him how he was and how things were going?  The man looked him in the eye and told him he was “Fine, things are great.”  He told me he knew he wanted a different church THAT moment because this had become the “norm” there, everyone putting on errs instead of participating in a community.

These networking sites can leave us feeling pretty defeated, unhappy, fat, unpopular, unsuccessful, etc. when we get into the dangerous game of comparisons.  And if the game must be played, which I believe it will continue to be, at least realize you are competing with only the outer most layer of someone’s life.  The part they want you to see.

It is curious to me that while online networking brings everyone together in one place, never have we as a society been more disconnected with our family, friends and fellow man (in my opinion).  You can go to a restaurant and see a whole family seated together and watch as they each play on their own cell phones to see my point.  Yes I am friends online with people from my past, but what do they know and care about my life?  Have I been seeking to know and care about theirs?  Why not?  They should.  I should.

I think we would  ALL benefit from a social network that was actually used to network authenticity.  And then to step outside of that world wide web into action in the real world.

This is my plan and thought for 2016 as I IMMERSE (word of the year- read previous post) myself into a new writing project that I believe will prove to be very interesting and hopefully very generative of good cheer and delighting in my fellow mankind.

Be well and be real!



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Marlin in the House…Literally…

Marlin has been low-key this year.  Well, at least low-key in comparison to how he usually rolls.  I am not sure if it is the fact that he is getting older or if it is the fact that he is gearing up for some wild times during this crunch time before Christmas!  I sincerely hope it is the latter!  I love this elf and the true magic he brings!

One day, Dapper touched him (and you know this means potential magic loss) and then Marlin stayed in the same spot for 3 days (key doom music- DUM DUM DUMMMMM).  We were concerned for his well being and were paranoid that it was the end of Marlin.  Luckily, he has since recovered and is back on the move!  Whew!  I know Dapper is happy and I see a huge sense of relief in Spicy’s eyes so I am pretty sure she also made contact with Marlin.


Throwback to Marlin Flying a Commercial Airliner last year…It happened.  We landed safe!



Explanation of Extraordinary Life in Camo…

Picturing me as some die hard Duck Dynasty fan decked out in camouflage from head to toe?  Please stop doing that…like immediately!  🙂

What I mean by my “Extraordinary Life in Camo” is that from the outside, a housewife life may not look thrilling, jet-setting or glamorous.  But it is!  So its kind of tricking all the non-believers out there who haven’t had time to sip on the Stay at Home Mom Kool-Aid (and no- I do not mean Mimosas).

Sometimes moms (and Dads) who stay home feel like their lives have sort of been placed on some sort of hold or pause until the child-rearing is complete.  I used to feel that way a little.  Why?  Life is now.  Life is our children AND so much more!  It is finding and more importantly BEING the people we are meant to be.  Using the talents that God gave us.  We are all good at certain things.  Celebrate and embrace those things and send them out into the world to do something really great.  God knows our world could really use some good, kind and loving things.

So, in conclusion and in the spirit of clarification, an “Extraordinary Life in Camo” is happening here in my housewife world.  And it may be camouflaged, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t here.    XOXO