Listening to yourself

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There is a voice in us.  A faint whisper, and we can to decide each day whether to listen to it or to completely ignore it, but its there.  Are you listening?

I wasn’t.  For some time, years even, I didn’t listen.  The result?  A feeling in the pit of my stomach that would never cease.  An ache for something missing.  And if I am going to be honest, I can admit that I was so removed from myself that I would not have been able to tell you what was missing even if you had asked.  I had let myself get that far away from myself.  It was a sad time.

Slowly I began making my way back to my center, my passion, my vocation.  What I can tell you from that experience?  I was met with pure bliss.  A reckoning of mass proportions!

Most recently, I have become involved in other things, other things took my time and my attention.  Things I thought would enhance me or make me better.  In truth, those endeavors I sought began pulling me once again from my place of true being.  That time I was now dedicating to new things was taking my time from my vocation.  Promises to myself to tend to the writing were not kept.  Goals I set were not met.  Further and further I found myself drifting.

I will not hesitate to tell you, I experienced true angst in this predicament.  I sensed a huge weight on my shoulders and with each day I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing, more weight was being added.  I felt true pressure.

Here came the voice.  The inner voice.  A whisper at first, barely noticeable.  A hushed voice.  “Remember what brings you joy?”.  More time passed and such, less writing was done.  The voice called again with more earnest.  “Are you doing what lights you up inside?”.  More days checked off on the calendar.  More days just going along feeling like I am hiking further from myself.  The voice boomed.  “Go back to your center!  Do what it is you are meant to be doing!  Make time to be you! Do the work for that!”.

And so I remembered to listen to myself.  A decision was made.  And do you want to know something?  The second I made the decision, the very second I made it, I felt like I could float.  I felt like all the weight was gone.

THAT is how I know it was the right decision!  Listening to ourselves is so critical.  Life-changing and life-saving!

Be still and listen….

XOXO

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Vision Board

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I did a thing this week.  I made a vision board to show what it is I wanted my life to look like.  I actually used a notebook that I always have with me so I could keep looking at it as often as I wanted.

I had heard of people making these before.  Targets and motivations to strive for and that emphasize the power of the mind.  The photo above was one of  the photos I chose.  I won’t share the rest here…yet.  Maybe never.  I am not sure.

What I do know is how happy I am to have used this photo and then realized that I am living this part of my vision board out loud; in present time. So many times I hear people tell me they wish they wrote, or they want to write, or they do write but they won’t put it out anywhere in the world.  I am proud that I do.  I am proud that in this vision, my writing is not just a vision.  Its not just a wish.  Its not a someday if I weren’t so busy.  I am a mother of 4 (3 of whom are completely dependent), I work part time at my children’s school, I work at my husband’s business, I have 2 children in travel sports that we have 5 days a week and 2 times each day of the weekend.  Our little Spicy is a swimmer so that is sucking up time.  I also run a part time online business plus I run a household….Can I get an Amen to that?  Bills, laundry, dinners, all lunches packed, groceries, cleaning, etc.  I get busy. Believe me!  Yet, I still find time to be what I believe God calls me to be.  A writer.  Who actually writes.

I encourage all of you to create your own vision board.  A tangible one is best. One you can craft and hold and see each day.  BUT, if you are even too busy for that, make one on Pinterest.  Start making a plan today for what you say you want.  Have your vision become reality.  It is empowering.  And don’t we all just want to feel a little stronger in our own skin?

XOXO

 

You’re kidding that its almost March, right?

My word for 2018 is Wonder.  My word I pick is always intentional and thoughtful.  I try my best to map out the year I want to have, the year I envision and then I set out to pick the word that will best help me stay my course.

2018- Wonder.

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(art done by in house artist, Spicy)

I want to see the world through a different lens, perhaps a psychedelic one.  I want to see the good in all.   I want to feel that glimmer of extraordinary in everything.  I want to make intentional choices for myself that bring me wondrous things.  I want to inspire others to seek their own wonders.  That was my plan.  It most certainly still is.

But somehow, it is nearly March.  How is that possible?  Is anyone else shocked by this?

I feel in times such as these, when we have fabulous notions and ideas but we let time slip by (or rather it squeaks by on its own), the best plan of action is a PLAN OF ACTION!  A purposeful intention that is also a regimented intention.

I vow to check in here each week, we’ll say Wednesdays- I call them:

Wonder Wednesdays!

  When I write this little blog of mine, in my little space on the internet- I will report to you the wonder I have seen, felt, tasted and discovered.  I challenge you all to go find wonderful things as well.

 

 

Christmas Spirit Fail

Not feeling like such a hot parent today.  I had big plans.  I was going to pick up my children early to surprise them and take them to the new Christmas movie, Star.  I thought it would be a fun moment for us as we get ready to swing into the holiday season.  After all, Marlin (our Elf on the Shelf) will be here this week and we are psyched for his arrival….

Then, today, my children did this cute little thing they do some mornings.  I don’t know if any of yours do this.  Ah, its the BEST!  See if it sounds familiar….

“AUUGHHH!”

“HE touched me!”

“She is looking at me!”

“It isn’t MY job!”

“You need to come because now its getting physical”

“AUUGHHHH!”

“Why can’t we have Halloween candy for lunch?  Seriously, Mom!  You are such a fun ruiner.”

etc, etc, etc,  (all actual quotes here).

Surprisingly this doesn’t have me feeling all the feels if you catch my drift.  It has me thinking, “The only star you are going to see are the ones twirling around your head like a cartoon character…” just kidding about that part but COME ON!  A Fun Ruiner?? I am like- the QUEEN of Fun!

I am now sitting at the library working on a writing project but I keep coming back to this morning.  I keep coming back to the fact that despite it all, I STILL want to surprise them and pick them up and share this magical moment with them.  Am I delusional???

Then, now that I am calming (writing does this for me), I am forced to remember some other things that ALSO happened today that I had forgotten when I let the negativity take over.

“Spicy, you can go first.  Ladies first- Always.”

“Thanks for recording the Steelers for me mom. I can’t wait to see if they won.  Don’t tell me, I want to be surprised.”

“I’m going to love nature A LOT today in Environmental Science class today. Like more than normal.”

“I’m going to ask my Spanish teacher to help me write a book in Spanish.”

“I love you, Mom” – times 3.

I love you all, too!  I love it all.  The Christmas spirit isn’t failed here like I thought.  I just need to embrace it all and remember that its tough sometimes; being a parental unit.  But, if you just keep your eye on the Star (the good), you’ll find something that makes all the travels worth it.

XOXO

 

 

Mister’s Birthday!

Today is my husband’s birthday.  I am feeling especially blessed to have him today.  I guess that is how it always is, isn’t it?  Life happens and then the next thing I know- days and weeks have passed without me truly standing in gratitude.  I am thankful for this day.  This is the day that my true best friend came into this world.  I want to spend more time appreciating that.

Are things always perfect?  Of course not and I never mean to imply they are.  I am merely saying that I wouldn’t trade this life for any other.  Happy birthday to my absolute better half.  I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you- Nancy Reagan-style!  XOXO

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Viva Las Vegas!

Another item has been checked off my bucket list thanks to my amazing husband.  I will forever wonder what I did to deserve him.  It like that song in Sound of Music, “Something Good”.  That song sums up my feelings about my Mister pretty well.  Check it out here if you haven’t heard it before.  Which you should have because- Hello?  Sound of Music… but Broadway musts are a blog post for another day…

So off to Vegas we went and it was a first for us both.  I don’t think either of us knew what to expect.  Sure, you see it on movies and in television shows, but what was it REALLY going to be like?  The answer in short?  Just what I was expecting.  A lot of people, a lot of lights.  A lot of reasons to raise eyebrows and a ton of reasons to smile and laugh.  We had a great time!

We gambled, we stayed at the Venetian, we gambled, we went to the Hoover Dam, we gambled, we saw a comedian, we gambled, we hit a jackpot (whatever we didn’t give back to the casino is already in the bank so don’t come a-knockin’)…It was just a fun time.

I thought about the city’s nickname while we were there.  Sin City.  And its funny, right?  There are all these illicit things happening around and I was oblivious to them all.  Nothing sinful about our trip.  Just a hubby and wife checking things off their bucket lists.  Having fun and making memories.  And it occurred to me.  Things, people and places are only as “bad” or “sinful” as we allow them to be.  We choose what we let into our lives and what we shun out.

I am sure there are people out there reading this that have Vegas stories that would knock our socks off.  And of course, the old adage, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” must be the mantra of many or why would it be the city’s slogan.  But WHY?  Why live a life like that?  Why be that type of person?  Why allow those things into our lives?  Our story?  What happened in Vegas are things we can tell our kids in the years to come.   Doesn’t make for a great t-shirt but it does make for a great life!  Its nice living that kind of life.

XOXO