Exit 2

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On July 1 at 9:30, my husband and I arrived at the hospital to begin the journey of transformation.  I can say with complete honesty that I was not scared.  I WANTED this.  To my core, I knew this was what I wanted.  I was having a touch of anxiety over the IV placement as that is usually difficult but that went well that day.

We met funny nurses, serious nurses, in the middle nurses.  All were kind and sweet and some were favored over others (as I believe is always the case).  The doctor came in to discuss how I was feeling and to write all over me with his purple Sharpee.  He was an artist and I was his canvas.  My anticipation level was high.

The  last one to come in was the anesthesiologist.  He lacked personality and bedside manner but to lets be honest, I just wanted him to drug me up and keep me out of pain.  I didn’t need to make a best friend over the transaction.  I did tell him that I had trouble with going under.  In more recent surgeries, I had problems with low blood pressure and being woken from anesthesia.  He slightly nodded as people with his personality do.  You wonder if they heard you or if they cared to make a note.  I know from later conversations that he did, in fact, make a note of it in my file. It didn’t help in the end, though.

Fast forward through the surgery.  It was to have lasted 3 hours.  It lasted about 4.  The doc came out to my husband to tell me he was very happy with how successful he was in terms of the lipo, tummy tuck and the muscle repair.  Once I was stable in the recovery room, my husband could go back to see me.  Hour after hour passed.  I was not only having trouble coming out of surgery, I was having the worst time I have ever had coming out of it.  My bp was so low, there was great concern.  I kept receiving more and more fluids which weren’t really helping matters.  Finally after 5 hours, they let my husband come back.  I kept waking momentarily and asking for him.  I knew they were going to send for him when I heard one of the docs say, “Let the husband come back, it can’t make it worse.”  I remember thinking, “Oh shit” but just as I thought it, I slipped back to sleep.

My husband tells me that when he saw me, he cried.  He said I looked seriously ill.  He could also pick up on the concern of all the nurses and docs.  It was a stressful situation for him and for that, I am sorry.  He did tell me that I now looked like Dolly Parton since I had my operation.  With my waist gone, it accentuated other parts of me.  Ha Ha!

When I finally began coming too for the duration, I realized the issue at hand with the staff was my fluid.  They had given me 5 bags of fluids to help with the crashing bp and then were not able to “find” it.  It wasn’t coming out in the catheter. I was swollen everywhere like a Goodyear blimp.  They gave me Lasik to flush my kidneys but that did nothing.

Of course at this time I began telling them I was having a hard time breathing.  I didn’t feel as though I was getting enough Oxygen when I was breathing in.  They checked my Oxygen to find my levels were very low.  They were then concerned that the missing fluid was in my lungs so they ordered an emergency chest x-ray to verify all was okay there.  It was.  Thank God.

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I stayed for a couple more hours in the recovery room until they could brief the floor upstairs what was happening.  I was eventually moved upstairs to nurses who despite my being assured they were aware of everything, certainly didn’t act like they knew what was happening.  They were nice women but it was as though I had entered a new world.  Downstairs I was treated with kit gloves and gently.  Upstairs they were pushing me from one side to another, sitting me up, moving me all around roughly.  It was a tough transition.

Later the next am, I was still struggling with low Oxygen levels and trouble breathing.  it was late morning when I felt severe tightness in my chest.  So much so, I called for the nurse and told her something was wrong.  She told me I should get an ekg to make sure I wasn’t in cardiac arrest.  She wheeled in the machine and all looked okay.  I was ready after all this to go home.  But of course, I had to wait until my Oxygen level was okay before I could be released.  This would take all day.  ALL DAY.  Finally in the last moments (after a certain point, you have to stay another night), my level was “fair enough” to go home.  WOOHOO!  I was so glad.

Handsome hubby took me home and the trip was uneventful.  I was sore but so doped up that I don’t remember much.  Truth be told, I was so doped up for the first 4-5 days that I remember only bits and pieces.  I do remember when I came into the house, our plan was for me to head right upstairs from the foyer into our room.  My hubby just wanted to get me settled into our room and then let the children come to see me.  So in we went and according to plan, up the steps we went.  What I had not taken into account was my shortness of breath and struggles with breathing.  By the time I reached the top of the staircase, my chest was burning and I was gasping.  Then I had to continue on into our room.  Oh my gosh.  It took a good half hour to calm my lungs down.

After this, I was pretty much just laying low in our bedroom watching Real Housewives of Jersey (marathon) with my husband and feeling pretty darn sore.

One day I got my first and hopefully only migraine.  I guess it was from all the medication and trauma.  Needless to say, I had my husband cover the windows with blankets and then I was sporting the below (see picture)…I wet wash cloth, an ice pack both on my head while wearing his sunglasses.  Funny story about this picture is that it was taken in the part of our bathroom that has no windows.  The light was off and the door was closed and I STILL wanted sunglasses.  🙂  To which my adorable hubby asked, “I know this isn’t funny now but can I take a picture because I know we are going to think its funny very soon.”.  Of course I said yes.  Even in pain I am always down for a good laugh.  🙂  And look, he was right.  Here we are laughing about it!  Smart guy!

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I know I made it sound like Exit 2 was a nightmare.  It definitely had its issues.  And I have to say, the real work rested on my husband and Studious.  They took such good care of me and the Final Three (when grandmothers didn’t have them).  I am blessed.

And though it was a hard road, I have no regrets.  I am so pleased with the outcome.  Exit 2 led me to Exit 3 and I am so happy for it!

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XOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mister’s Birthday!

Today is my husband’s birthday.  I am feeling especially blessed to have him today.  I guess that is how it always is, isn’t it?  Life happens and then the next thing I know- days and weeks have passed without me truly standing in gratitude.  I am thankful for this day.  This is the day that my true best friend came into this world.  I want to spend more time appreciating that.

Are things always perfect?  Of course not and I never mean to imply they are.  I am merely saying that I wouldn’t trade this life for any other.  Happy birthday to my absolute better half.  I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you- Nancy Reagan-style!  XOXO

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Viva Las Vegas!

Another item has been checked off my bucket list thanks to my amazing husband.  I will forever wonder what I did to deserve him.  It like that song in Sound of Music, “Something Good”.  That song sums up my feelings about my Mister pretty well.  Check it out here if you haven’t heard it before.  Which you should have because- Hello?  Sound of Music… but Broadway musts are a blog post for another day…

So off to Vegas we went and it was a first for us both.  I don’t think either of us knew what to expect.  Sure, you see it on movies and in television shows, but what was it REALLY going to be like?  The answer in short?  Just what I was expecting.  A lot of people, a lot of lights.  A lot of reasons to raise eyebrows and a ton of reasons to smile and laugh.  We had a great time!

We gambled, we stayed at the Venetian, we gambled, we went to the Hoover Dam, we gambled, we saw a comedian, we gambled, we hit a jackpot (whatever we didn’t give back to the casino is already in the bank so don’t come a-knockin’)…It was just a fun time.

I thought about the city’s nickname while we were there.  Sin City.  And its funny, right?  There are all these illicit things happening around and I was oblivious to them all.  Nothing sinful about our trip.  Just a hubby and wife checking things off their bucket lists.  Having fun and making memories.  And it occurred to me.  Things, people and places are only as “bad” or “sinful” as we allow them to be.  We choose what we let into our lives and what we shun out.

I am sure there are people out there reading this that have Vegas stories that would knock our socks off.  And of course, the old adage, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” must be the mantra of many or why would it be the city’s slogan.  But WHY?  Why live a life like that?  Why be that type of person?  Why allow those things into our lives?  Our story?  What happened in Vegas are things we can tell our kids in the years to come.   Doesn’t make for a great t-shirt but it does make for a great life!  Its nice living that kind of life.

XOXO

 

 

 

2016 Word- Immerse

Hello, friends!  It has been awhile and I have missed you!

As many of you remember, my word for 2016 is Immerse.  I explained in a previous post why I chose that word and that that signified for me.  Please feel free to check it out.  My blog post today is a sort of report card on how my practice of One Word has been going so far these first 2 weeks of 2016!

I would give myself a strong B on this report card.  There are some “projects” where I really have “nailed it” and other pop quizzes life has thrown at me that I have bombed!

First-the WINS- We had the immense pleasure of taking our children to Florida the first week of the year.  I planned to immerse myself in this family time and truly get subsumed by the blessings I have.  I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t be on social media; no posting, no blogging.  I wouldn’t be calling and texting people back home constantly.  I was just going to be immersed in these memorable moments.  I am happy to say I did just that and was so much better for it.

Second, we got a new puppy this week, aptly named Atticus and he is a mini goldendoodle.  He is a cutie and I had vowed to myself that I would fully immerse myself into his proper training for my future sanity and for that of my hubby’s.  So far, so good.  Only 2 accidents and one was totally a human fail.

Third, I got to work with the super-talented Jennifer Didio of Jennifer Didio Photography for the purpose of having professional head shots to use for upcoming projects.  I was so nervous about this.  Knowing that I am not where I want to be ‘weight-wise’ and having many insecurities about my appearance; far to many to be listed here today, and just not being able to control the outcome were huge hurdles for me to jump.I decided to muster up my courage and follow my own preaching which is to revert back to the word I’d chosen to be my motto for 2016.  Would backing out of the photo shoot be immersing myself in this creative life I say I want?  Would I be immersing myself into this one life I have by running scared or by quitting while I was behind?  No- to stay true to this, I would have to immerse myself into the experience, hesitations and all.  Was it easy?  Hell no!  HELL NO!  But, I did it.  I didn’t cave to my own negativity.  And that to me is a huge win!

There are things this year I feel I am not succeeding with.  My most important role of wife being one of them.  I know I need to be a better wife to my husband.  He is a remarkable human and he deserves to spend his time with a remarkable human in return.  There are times I fall sooooooo damn short.  I want to work on immersing myself into my marriage more and into my husband.  History has proven for us that we are so much better when we are working together.  I need to let him in and hold him in the high esteem with which he deserves.  He would blush if he read this and say I was super wife, but sometimes- and I think you ALL will be able to agree with this- sometimes only we can truly know our shortcomings and what we COULD be verses what we ARE.  I know I can be a better wife.  I strive to be, everyday.  I want to immerse myself in that task so my husband can be living the best life he can.  He deserves it!

I also need to become more immersed with my healthy living goals and aspirations.  It is so easy to slip off track and ever more difficult to get back on.  I want to become immersed in the dedication to a healthy mindset- everyday in 2016.  And always.

I have exciting news coming soon.  Stick around to be the first to hear it!

Thanks to all of you who are taking this ride with me.  I am so thankful for you all!