Listening to yourself

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There is a voice in us.  A faint whisper, and we can to decide each day whether to listen to it or to completely ignore it, but its there.  Are you listening?

I wasn’t.  For some time, years even, I didn’t listen.  The result?  A feeling in the pit of my stomach that would never cease.  An ache for something missing.  And if I am going to be honest, I can admit that I was so removed from myself that I would not have been able to tell you what was missing even if you had asked.  I had let myself get that far away from myself.  It was a sad time.

Slowly I began making my way back to my center, my passion, my vocation.  What I can tell you from that experience?  I was met with pure bliss.  A reckoning of mass proportions!

Most recently, I have become involved in other things, other things took my time and my attention.  Things I thought would enhance me or make me better.  In truth, those endeavors I sought began pulling me once again from my place of true being.  That time I was now dedicating to new things was taking my time from my vocation.  Promises to myself to tend to the writing were not kept.  Goals I set were not met.  Further and further I found myself drifting.

I will not hesitate to tell you, I experienced true angst in this predicament.  I sensed a huge weight on my shoulders and with each day I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing, more weight was being added.  I felt true pressure.

Here came the voice.  The inner voice.  A whisper at first, barely noticeable.  A hushed voice.  “Remember what brings you joy?”.  More time passed and such, less writing was done.  The voice called again with more earnest.  “Are you doing what lights you up inside?”.  More days checked off on the calendar.  More days just going along feeling like I am hiking further from myself.  The voice boomed.  “Go back to your center!  Do what it is you are meant to be doing!  Make time to be you! Do the work for that!”.

And so I remembered to listen to myself.  A decision was made.  And do you want to know something?  The second I made the decision, the very second I made it, I felt like I could float.  I felt like all the weight was gone.

THAT is how I know it was the right decision!  Listening to ourselves is so critical.  Life-changing and life-saving!

Be still and listen….

XOXO

Reminder

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I am still here.  I write this as a reminder to myself even more than a notification to my readers.

I have been writing so much these last few months, just not blogging.  I have missed this.

I find myself thinking of this blog often.  I think,

“What do I want to write?”

“What is there to say?”

“Do people really want to hear a housewife’s take on kids and married life?”

“Do I really want to talk about kids and married life?”

“Should I just post works here?  Try to get feedback?”

Lots of questions.  And with full disclosure, I didn’t come to any definitive conclusions.

With the exception of this:  I want to write and I want to write here.

I want to write about whatever I want.  This blog doesn’t need to fit under an umbrella that only touches on certain topics.  It can be all encompassing.   I have no control over who reads, who shares, who cares.  But that isn’t why writing has ever mattered to me.  Writing has been my lifeline since I was a child.  When I was 7 and used writing to help me grapple through my father’s death and throughout my life going through every other hardship and joy.  Writing is home.

So here it goes.  Continuing the act of saving myself.  Using my God-given talent to spend time with myself…and hopefully you all as well.

XOXO